tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-362299212009-02-21T00:08:58.555-08:00Lilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14196427588880345870noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36229921.post-1163521580538500382006-11-14T08:16:00.000-08:002006-11-14T08:26:20.623-08:00<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.ultra-pop.org/images/cover2/tff-hurt.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.ultra-pop.org/images/cover2/tff-hurt.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">Why do accidents happen? Is there some “cosmic” reason that I haven't heard and that's why everything's in disarray? Or was there an announcement that I didn't get to hear since I was sound asleep in bed?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">Why do we meet people? Why do I? Why do I even bother?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">Why do I surf the internet? Why am I so voracious for information? Why am I curious?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">Why did I go on-line and sign up at fling.com? Why did I meet people? Why did I make friends?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">Why did I connect with Carl? Why did I get close to him? Why did I continue conversing with him about pretty much everything?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">Why did I keep on going back for more at fling? What made me so “powerful” that I was clicking and just adding total strangers as friends?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">Why did they approve? Why did they talk to me? Why were they interested? Was it primarily because I tickled their fancy?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">Why or how did Carl catch my attention? Why did I allow him to enter my life? Why did I bring down my ever-so-sturdy wall for him?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">Why do people hurt other people? What allows them to take advantage of you?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">What could be the main reason not to show up in a place that could forever change a person's life?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">Is it right to <b>just</b> <i>disappear</i>?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">Is it right to make someone laugh so hard then make them cry?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">The world is such a mystery. It's a f*ckin' enigma.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">I guess I'm tired of feeling that's why I made a blog of the questions that have been brooding my mind.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">It's because I'm human. Just like everybody else. I think that's the reason and anyone who knows me is familiar with the fact that no one can damn mess with what I think or my mind.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">But that's the thing... I let Carl do it to me. Why did I allow it to happen?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br />No idea.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">All my nerves are gone, I think.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">I'm just tired.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">Tired of thinking that I'm worthy of loving, living and getting all that back.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">Here's to excruciating pain...</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify">Bottoms up!</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);" align="justify"><br />Cheers.</p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/36229921-116352158053850038?l=lil-snap.blogspot.com'/></div>Lilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14196427588880345870noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36229921.post-1161163947276289022006-10-18T02:25:00.000-07:002006-10-18T02:32:27.283-07:00Holy crap... I cannot believe I saw that asswipe! Shit.<br /><br />Sorry... I know it's my first time to write here and I guess you guys are wondering what's making me so pissed off right now. I actually hope you guys could help me out with this one.<br /><br />So here goes... the thing is... do I dare say it?!<br /><br />The man I've been with for almost three months is my half-brother.<br /><br />Fuck.<br /><br />I am SO not kidding.<br /><br />I didn't even believe it myself but it is what it is... He is.<br /><br />Okay... I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me introduce myself first.<br /><br />Hi my name is Lily Mulholland. I'm a bartender and loving every damn minute of it. I live alone in a little place that has a Chinese cafe downstairs... I have a dog who I sort of adopted when my friends and I went to Miami.<br /><br />Anyway back to what I was writing about...<br /><br />Ah yes... Richard... the man I've been dating exclusively turns out to be my friggin' --. Ugh I can't even write it anymore. Well, you get the picture.<br /><br />This really sucks since everything's going great. We wine-dine and everything but holy crap we went to a gala at this posh place and man... I saw my aunt then he said “hey... that's mine too.”<br /><br />I thought he was kidding but shit.<br /><br />SO NOT.<br /><br />My aunt dragged me to the side and said it's so cool that I'm fine with my dad having another family even if my mom doesn't wanna talk about it, I'm apparently taking it very well.<br /><br />AND! That I finally met “Richie,” the youngest of the other family.<br /><br />Whatever. I just feel so gross. I can't believe I've been making out, hugging, kissing and making love with... my brother.<br /><br />Crap.<br /><br />That's all I can say.<br /><br />I saw him just now that's why I suddenly "blogged." I didn't know what else to do. My friends are missing in action... of all the days! Crap.<br /><br />Hmm... so now what to do...<br /><br />My friends have been telling me to look for someone on the internet but isn't that a bit tacky? And isn't it a bit scary? But come to think of it... damn... I think I should. Anyone out there thinks I should go ahead and do it? It is worth a try and I guess it's not bad if I put myself out there again after this rollercoaster ride.<br /><br />What to do... what to do...<br /><br />I have a feeling after this shitty experience... I can pretty much take on anything. Hmm...<br /><br />This seems like a movie... and I thought!!! It could only happen there but obviously...<br /><br />I need help! C'mon people! If you know anything that'll make feel better damn... and I mean anything! C'mon!<br /><br />Pfft.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/36229921-116116394727628902?l=lil-snap.blogspot.com'/></div>Lilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14196427588880345870noreply@blogger.com9